The Promised Land - Parenting perspective change from 1-4 kids

Sometimes I feel ill-equipped as a mother. Although a lot of people call me mother, (between my kids, foreign exchange students and Safe Families Kids), I’ve only been a mother for seven years. And well, we really don’t know how jacked up my children will be yet..

In just seven years, my parenting perspective has changed drastically.

I liken the motherhood journey with the journey of Moses.

Obviously.

We have God’s people – slaves in Egypt. And Moses working persistently to free the Israelites from Pharaoh and toward a goal. Plague after plague came until Pharaoh freed the Israelites. Those messy plagues sure did play a part in the goal. But success didn’t come when the people were freed; success was arrival in the Promised Land. Every one of Moses’ actions and decisions were influenced by his goal of reaching the Promised Land.

Flash forward to September 2006. There I was holding baby Eli in my arms – that ugly 9 pound 4 oz, zombie, troll, cone-head baby. I was a young mother with my first son.

With Eli, things were black and white, I was diligent about course correction and everything was new and wonderful. My goal was to have a beautiful put-together family. I wanted to be the mom with well-behaved kids, and for other people to think I had everything together as a wife and mother.

I wanted to have the answers about parenting style, sleep training, discipline, and the best baby products. But all those things are the plagues. A necessary part of the journey… but just the journey.

Only 5 short years later I was holding my 4^th child in my arms. Tess, all cheeks and snuggles. And we stopped at Souplantation on the way home from the hospital. So much for everything being new the 4^th time around. As much as I would still love to be thought of as the “put-together” family, I’m just happy if all the kids have pants on at the grocery store.

Of course I’ve changed and grown as a person – I’m juggling more responsibilities, I’ve gained more experience, I’m more comfortable in the role of a mother, but most significant, I have different goals.

I have my Promised Land.

I’m less concerned with having a great well-behaved child, and more concerned my children will become great parents someday.

I’m less concerned about people thinking I have all the answers and more concerned my children will make wise choices on their own.

I’m less concerned with having a beautiful family portrait and more concerned with my children being respected by their peers, teachers, and other parents.

I want my children to experience authentic relationship with Jesus. To go through trials. Feel pain and hope. But of course, mostly joy and perfect peace.

I want to use my mistakes to give them “level paths” for their lives (Hebrews 12:13a). And so much more. More, because God’s plan for their lives is far superior to my plan. Everyday I’m choosing my actions and decisions in light of my Promised Land, not the plagues.

It’s my life, and it’s a stunning jumble of trial and error.

Success and failure.

And I’m thankful.